Property Market Analyst Pillows

'Housing shortage, what housing shortage?'

'...how much is this brick?'

'It's a handy household device that helps calculate your negative equity'

"A home recently sold in my neighborhood."

"It'll make such a nice change to talk about something other than house prices going up..."

Today's dream house is nothing if not a fantasy.

Great Fire of London - "This could be good news for the property market!"

"Liable to flooding? Whatever gives you that idea sir?"

At first I thought it was just coincidence, but then I realized it corresponded directly to your shift.

"I agree, the place was a tear-down, but I just remembered we were only renting it."

'Hmmph. Here's an ad for affordable housing five minutes from downtown. By what means? Learjet?'

"You're unlikely to find anyplace on the market that is truly impregnable."

'Oh no! We're in negative equity.'

"This town ain't big enough for the both of us and, even if it was, I doubt either of us could afford to buy a place here given the current sellers' market."

Repossessions

House hunting is cruel.

Shoe house.

'Yes, there is a bidding war - but I'm almost certain you aren't allowed to take prisoners.'

"This article says that the number of elderly living with their children is rising..."

'I'm sorry, but without a significant deposit, we can't give you a mortgage.'

"So, how's that 'Tiny House living' working for you so far?"

Estate Agents.

Estate Agent: Houses with Hedge....Houses Without Hedge

'With so many children, I can't afford to live in a choo anymore.'

"We're sitting on a landbank that could accommodate tens of thousands of new homes. We can wait a few years and generate even more profit..."

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

Affordable housing

'I can't move in with my parents. They moved in with my grandparents.

'My bubble burst!'

'Inflation allows you to live in a more expensive neighbourhood without even moving.'

'This is about all we have in your price range!'

'Home builders' watch the 'Housing starts' chart with excitement

UK house prices drop by 1.3%

"Ha! Buying a house just so you can live in it. I'll never understand young people."