Real Estate Evaluator Gifts

Valuation of Heaven

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"I'm from brokers without borders. Invest in deserted island reits!"

Ice Cream And Summer Rentals

"Is this what I want to be doing with my death?"

"I'm bored - let's buy a house in the country that has lots of problems."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

'Can we call a realtor now?!'

'On today's market a property like this could fetch 175k... but with themed rooms, stone cladding, avocado bathroom suite and garden gnomes, you're talking closer to 95..!'

Estate Agent - This house that's 'just what we are looking for' is ours

"It's not so much a fixer upper as a tear it downer."

'We're the Meeks and we're here to see about our inheritance of the Earth.'

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

"It's a great Fixer-Upper and this is Ken, single, available and a pretty decent handyman."

'I received matching offers.'

'Yes, the walls ARE thin, but you'll be happy to know a world-famous rapper lives in the next unit.'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

'We're looking for a place with no high walls.'

"Not too big a garden-my wife tires easily!"

"When you say you love your life, should I be happy for you?"

"Admittedly, it is a bit of a 'fixer upper'."

Man with head in ground: 'I'm not burying my head in the sand, I'm doing the coal mining search myself.'

'We have a cash flow problem too. Our problem is that your mortgage payments aren't flowing our way.'

'At least this means we won't need a coal mining search.'

'I won't lie, it can get windy here.'

'Being afraid to buy a house doesn't make you homeophobic.'

"You're going to love the 360 degree views with this one."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

Scientist with model of a house in a test tube.

'You're on the very bottom of the 'property ladder'. Or as we estate agents call it; 'the food chain'.'

Show house. 'I don't like the house. but your champagne's great.'

'I know it's tough starting out. Your father and I started out in a plastic bag.'

For Sale, just to find the true value.

"The back of the house? Didn't I already show you that?"

'Office amenities' dangled by 'Leasing agents'