Property Valuer Gifts

For Sale, just to find the true value.

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

"A hole half this size sold for 340,000 acorns last week! No inspection!"

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

'What makes you think the basement leaks?'

Bert launches his plan to increase property values: Annoyance Free Zone - No politicians, media, pundits, or mimes beyond this point.

Little Investment on the Praire

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

'Well, since you put it like that, I suppose we could reduce the price of the property slightly.'

Valuation of Heaven

'That's Burt. Some developer made him an offer for his park bench he couldn't refuse.'

"Their entire friendship is based on regret over property they SHOULD have bought when it was affordable."

"That's the worst case of rising damp I've ever seen!"

'Just look at it! The lot alone is worth an underwater mortgage.'

'Eve, have you ever wondered just how much this property's worth?'

Land Sale

"Are your taxes based on usable living space or actual square footage?"

"Ah yes, 'The Three Little Pigs', a cautionary tale of insufficient real estate market analysis."

"Things are looking up..."

Brookfield Historical Society LandmarkThe Captain Benjamin Ingham HouseBuilt in 1768 for $550 and 2 Tons of CodfishPresent Worth $3.5 Million, But Could Easily Bring $5 Million.

House with Damp Problem.

'That's my loft ladder.'

"There are no skeletons in the closets but you might have trouble with those in the back yard."

"Hang on - I thought you said it was a listed building..!!"

Cross-stitched land survey.

"I'm afraid it looks like a nasty case of rising dry."

Real estate agency: 'You know, Thomas Jefferson bought this same property in `80` for 3 cents an acre.'

'It's a terrible time to be an Estate Agent.'

Don't worry aobut the bell, the don't ring it at night!

Lazlo and Alan, A unique narrow dwelling with atmospheric lighting.

"I told you it was just the house settling."

"I don't care if Lassie lived in it. It's not worth 500 grand."

"Of course, it's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

Boom & Bust.