Land Valuation Gifts

"Things are looking up..."

"So, the Scharfs have an atoll. Big deal."

'What kind of alteration did you have in mind?'

'Unforeseeable future site of Hainesmore Industries.'

"Great for worship then! Great for retail now!"

Realtors: 'We make house calls'.

'It's only four acres but we're glad we bought it - he's always wanted to be an expert in his own field.'

Why the discovery of the New World took longer than expected.

'We did have one property in your price range, but I'm afraid we sold it in 1943.'

"That's it - I've had it up to here with measurement devices."

"I want to see it as art, but I keep asking myself 'is it really grocery?'"

"Okay, so the current occupants are being tormented by supernatural forces, but they do agree to pay closing costs."

"If a sixth borough opens up, I'll let you know."

"It's got everything: northern exposure, hardwood floors, central tree."

Little Investment on the Praire

"The valuation of my business includes its goodwill."

"With skyrocketing condo prices these days I can easily get $2.5 million."

"The meaning of life is location, location, location."

"I've just been gazumped!"

Valuation of Heaven

For Sale, just to find the true value.

"It's not a listing error. This really is a dream house because you have to imagine it."

Piggy bank #4: factory.

Some musicians discussing a new land purchase for hunting

"We're thinking about getting a little pied-a-terre in hell."

Highway project

"How many acres do I have? What's an acre?"

I already own waterfront property.

"It's full of woodworm, we breed them..."

'D I Y log cabin for sale'

"Lots of what?"

"I did 'stop and smell the flowers' once. Then I bought them, cut them down, and put up condos."

Indian burial ground.

"Folks, we're in a hot market ...so you might want to make an offer before the fire trucks get here."

'I'm sorry, but we haven't seen a price range that low since Roosevelt was in office.'