Reading Humorous Stories Pillows

Humpty Dumpty sits on the wall and a chef with a large frying and a spatchella waits suspiciously below.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

Examination.

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Apricots

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

A man and his dog both reading.

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

Mister Oedipus.

"We never talk about anything. 'Me Tarzan, you Jane. Me Tarzan, you Jane.' That's all he ever says."

Book

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

"Sure, I may be over the top, but at least I'm not underhanded like him!"

"I suggest you get more iron in your system and get the lead out."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'How was your luck, dear?'

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?