Reading Humorous Stories Pillows

Humpty Dumpty sits on the wall and a chef with a large frying and a spatchella waits suspiciously below.

"Yo, Eunice – don’t leave me hangin’."

"It says: 'The teamwork that got you here is the real treasure.' Aww."

'We're looking for someone who is willing to just do their job.'

'Before we staqrt biting do you practice catch and release?'

"Hey team, meet our new V.P. of acquisitions and mergers." (businessman introducing a vicking, barbarian)

Examination.

Apricots

All this pressure to be the perfect storm...

A man and his dog both reading.

"No, I said to swab the deck!"

'I've discovered you have feet of clay.'

'You can hit out of the trap or take a 2 stroke penalty.'

Lengray's 1,001 practical Jokes for beginners (a man getting punched in the face with a mechanical glove).

Book

"First of all, kudos on landing a corner office."

'I sort of drifted into this...I always wanted to do children's gymkhanas.'

'...and don't think I didn't see that flying tackle.'

"I suggest you get more iron in your system and get the lead out."

'I'm afraid that driving the getaway car is more than just a driving offence, Mr. Jones.'

"Would you mind if my new friend Ted joins us?

"Yes, I know darling, getting a sore throat is bad: it really hurts to swallow..."

"At least she got it to squeak when she tripped over it."

Corona virus: "Wow, I seem to be getting lots of attention lately."

"Yuck! Som'one left their nose in this book!"

'I perched on Blackbeard's shoulder for three years, then went to work for Long-John Silver...'

'How was your luck, dear?'

"In school I got punished for copying, yet now it's all I'm asked to do."

"Can you give me some you haven't chewed on already."

"Of course I'm self-absorbed. I'm a sponge!"

"You know, crime doesn't pay... at least at your level."

'This photo is hardly suitable for your misery memoir.'

'It's yet another customer survey asking about our last oil change. Was it poor, fair, very good, blissful or orgasmic?'