Reading Complex Texts Gifts

"This contract needs rewriting, some of it could understood by almost ANYONE!"

Bacchus.

"Hey, it's not all fire and brimstone anymore—one of our nine circles is even smoke-free."

'A is for Arse.'

Ishmael's First Day on the Pequod was Full of Surprises: "A harpoon!? Don't you practice catch and release?"

"I believe it was called 'cursive'."

Pirates: "To absent Limbs."

'Well, that's just great...you can part the Red Sea, but you can't open a jar of pickles for me!'

"Will thee not sayeth uncle?!"

Odysseus starts regretting his return to Ithaca.

Examination.

James Joyce.

"Javert" Would Like To Use Your Current Location

dog reading EKG

"I dropped my goblet!"

"Writing that book was a real strain."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

Washing line with robber outfit and swag bag hanging up to dry.

"It's Shakespeare, Mother - please do't keep moaning 'Oh get on with it'!"

"This wandering in the desert for forty years thing -- It IS allegorical, isn't it?"

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"We are in the bear's house. Goldilocks has just eaten a bowl of porridge. Papa Bear enters."

'Now THIS is my idea of a creative department.'

Hamlet.

"You're a surprisingly good kisser for having two different dead guys' lips."

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

'And not a white one among 'em, Cap'n...'

Poultry Reading: 'Lo, Ye Sky, It Falls! Verily it does, watch ye out!'