Comedic Reader Gifts

"It's not that I don't want a baby brother - it's just that this is a bad time for me developmentally."

'A is for Arse.'

"You've reached Randy, the Dating Doctor. What ails you?...."

'Well, how many pints do you weigh?'

'What's a cubic foot?' - 'Whatever it is claim compensation.'

Meat the Author.

Examination.

Snake charmer puppet.

"I bought this toaster yesterday and it's broken already! it's a disgrace...I only hit my husband with it four times!"

"Can you test for broccoli and brussels sprouts too?"

"Yes, I tried tapping on the glass."

'If you give up alcohol, cigarettes, sex, red meat, cakes and chocolate, and don't get too excited, you can enjoy life for a few more years yet.'

"A retired superhero's re-purposed utility belt"

'Me, I don't spend my pocket money: I hoard it...'

"Ernestine is trying to get St. Patrick to change his mind."

'You must be Jim's new gardener. I'm his neighbour, Gerald. Had any luck with the Petunias this year? Aren't those Jim's feet sticking out of the ornamental pond?'

Wedding Day Itinerary.

'What sort of wines do you like?' ... 'Powerful ones!'

X-ray Psychology.

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

The Salmon Run

"Yeah, I'm moonlighting. It's a living."

'Perkins, we're getting rid of some of the dead wood around here.'

Fish snorkling above water.

Crew Goofs Off While Out Of Sight

wattle covers

'Ha! Ha! The Wooin' O't!'

'I think it's about time we tell him he's adopted.'

"My doctor said I'm not getting any younger. I'd like a second opinion."

"I'm excited to get fixed at the vet, had no idea I was broken."

"The fourth horseman says that he will be late. He hasn't left the Old Testament yet."

A bird that is also the helmet from a suit of armour (or is it a bird inside a helmet?). Notice the very small flying bird/helmet in the background.

"Damnit—Every game ends in stalemate."

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

Sign that says 'This is not a sign.'