Comedic Bibliophile Gifts

Man struggling to read a large edition of a book

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Victor Hugo

Edgar Allen Poe

The Dorrie Decimal System

Honoré de Balzac

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

Wedding Day Itinerary.

George Orwell

'HA Ha! One good idea doesn't make a genius!'

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

Armstrong, the only doctor covered in the new health plan you got me is a veterinarian! Beats no coverage. Yeah, if you're a parakeet. You're so cheap. You don't value me at all. You ingrate. I didn't have to give you health benefits. Lots of employers don't cover their animals. You mean workers. Stop your barking.

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Literary Canines.

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

'A is for Arse.'

Litterary Dogs.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

"Boss, I guarantee you that my intentions with your daughter are serious."

'Read that last part back to me.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

A man and his dog both reading.

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

Examination.

"Nevermore."

'I'm afraid there is no Book of Loophole.'

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement