Ironic Bibliophile Gifts

'This book so so rare it's never been published.'

My Bookshelf Before the Internet

Edgar Allen Poe

Victor Hugo

The Dorrie Decimal System

Honoré de Balzac

"Now Playing: One of those Jane Austen movies."

Not to be a motion picture. Will remain just a book.

George Orwell

"Not that I have the time, but I enjoy reading."

'Which wine goes best with 'the old man and the sea'?'

"Barb's such a fast reader."

Meet the author - celebrity autobiographies,

Literary Canines.

'Yes, it's just a little volume.'

Litterary Dogs.

'Read that last part back to me.'

'This book is so rare it's never been published.'

'It's very fast-paced. The book was over before I could finish reading it.'

A man and his dog both reading.

'Chicken soup for dummies who don't sweat the small stuff.'

"Nevermore."

'Yes, your papers seem to have lots of citations, but I've checked: They're all self-citations...'

'Bront?saurus.'

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'I'm a writer.' - 'What a coincidence, I'm a reader.'

Self-Improvement, Self-Empowerment, Self-Aggrandizement

"Spoiler alert...Z."

"And last week I nearly crashed while reading on the freeway..."

Women who Read Too Much

"I'm taking you off sleeping pills and putting you on Proust."

"Boy, these are really overdue!"

Gabriel Garcia Marquez.

'...and what's more, they're all first editions.'

Head full of Books.