Ironic Literature Lover Gifts

"I don't need good beach reading, Ma. I need good prison reading."

Salesman sits on park bench reading Death Of A Salesman as Grim Reaper comes up behind him.

"Are you insane?!" The Velveteen Skunk

"That's the guy I hired to read Proust for me."

"Too bad about old Ainsworth. Published and published, but perished all the same."

Blue Stockings - Woman revealing herself as author

Bob encounters one of the bugs in the Jean Paul Sartre fan website.

'Peter the Flying Hippo is my favorite storybook character without any merchandising tie-ins.'

"After years of cartoon rejections, Bill stooped to trying a little shameless product placement."

The Ray Bradbury classic, 'The Car Alarm.'

"Would you like me to annotate that for you?"

Mr. Metamorphosis: "At least this better than waking up as a cockroach."

Thomas Mann.

Victor Hugo

'I didn't dedicate my book, A Lifetime of Wine Tasting, to my 3 ex-wives and nine kids, because they made it possible. I did it because they made it necessary.'

The DaVinci Code

Academic Jeopardy ... 'What Was the Maiden Name of Dante Alighieri's Maternal Grandmother?'

'For those with books, open and follow along. For those with laptops, follow me on Twitter.'

"Not to be a motion picture - will remain just a book'

Television Readers.

Kid in time-out writes 'it was the best of time out...'

'Look! The new long awaited, highly anticipated but ultimately disappointing novel by that guy you like.'

Jean-Paul Sartre

"My novel is not a doorstop!"

"They've remained remarkably faithful to the text."

Miss, how do you spell "acceptable"? I've Googled every "e" and can't find it.

"Look! No hands!"

Horti-Culture

Shakespeare was bisexual

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

It's Dostoevsky. It's Melville. It's Flaubert. But it doesn't dance.

Robinson decided to name him 'Casual Friday'.

Distractions Of The Great

'Mysteries' section of bookshop reveals secret door.

William Shakespeare a.k.a. Francis Bacon, Earl of Essex....