Rational Rambler Gifts

The Followup?

"The university said he was a climate change denier so remove the statue."

"It seemed like miles to me!"

'He's the best sheepdog I ever had.'

'I guess you might call it a sort of penicillin reaction.'

'I never dreamed the 'equal work for equal pay' bill would apply to me!'

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The Pooperrazzi

The What's-The-Hurry? Institute

'Well Alice. Now do you know what cull means?'

'It's odd...when I was CEO of Phoenix Industries everybody laughed at my jokes, but since I've been retired, nobody does.'

"This is nice. Just you, me, Buster and a landscape by Andrew Wyeth."

E=mc2 - Einstein's graffiti.

'You're not supposed to kiss everyone, Mr Jenkins.'

'I don't know what's wrong with you, you seem to have celibacy on the brain!'

'Sorry - I've got strong views on Sunday Trading!'

Brain versus Religion.

U.S. Department of Alcohol, Tobacco and Firearms

'I'll be finished with the surgery by 1 o'clock!'

Having conducted a survey of 32.4% of the 56.6% of tax experts about 43% of the budget we found an 87.6% probability that we haven't got the foggiest ideas of what it means.

'We can't keep meeting in the wind tunnel, Natasha '.

Licensing Officer

"We should be careful, where there's a baby Pope the mother can't be far away."

'Sounds to me like you're not getting enough REM sleep.'

'Your moon is on Saturn. Your sun is on Venus, and your hand is on my thigh!'

"I've been voting for the lesser of two evils for decades now, and yet the country still seems to be self-destructing in slow motion."

Hillbilly.

"Your AI needs fine tuning -- your algorithm ain't got no rhythm."

Whatever it is I usually think about.

'I said what I thought, then I apologized when I started losing advertisers. What does that make me?'

"Man cannot live on bread alone - he needs a bit of crumpet too."

'If you ask me I think they've taken over the place!'

"Yeah, that's Bob. . . he kinda misunderstood the whole 'freeze yourself for the winter' thing. . ."

'Fire straw one!'

"No, sorry. I couldn't possibly take on another one. I'm short-staffed as it is."