Rating Rebels Gifts

'I think PG stands for pretty gross.'

"I gotta be me!"

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

"My inner child just turned sixty-five."

Pubertry

"You belong to a Dungeons and Dragons group, you're a committed Goth, and you're failing Medieval History?!"

'Children's Personals'

"What do the know!"

'You had me at 'warning'.'

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

'This bottle stainless steel cleaner...if it's stainless...why would you need a cleaner?'

"Stop fact checking my story."

"In case anyone walks by and sees the bottle you ordered, we offer a sticker saying your first bottle was rated 98."

"I feel your writing style is a bit old-school."

'When they say EVERY possible risk needs a sign I don't think they meant you!'

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"As an artist, it's my job to capture the beauty and triumphs of everyday life."

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

No to Greed

"I heard someone was looking for a dungeon master."

Wrong shelf.

Philosophy Department. 38 days without logical fallacy. (Published originally on December 6, 2007.)

Warning! Magazines Stay in Waiting Room

"I'm just getting around to sowing my wild oats."

"You're holding the paper upside down, Kevin. . ."

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'Let's find anothr cafe - I'm not eating in any restaurant that outranks me'

Ace Apartments: Absolutely NO beekeeping!

"Alexa, tell me I'm a bad girl."

No Ball Games in the Park