Tv Rebels Gifts

"You kids need to be more productive, so I decided to cut the cable."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

"An un-observed universe ceases to exist. Yeah right!"

"The batteries in his TV remote died. The shock of not being able to use it for two minutes has put him in a temporary state of shock."

Abandoning the computer for a typewriter.

"Get up at 7; leave for school by 8; no video games until after homework is done -- how about some regulatory relief?"

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

"If you find authority intolerable, remember, you're in good company."

"I really got used to working from home."

An acceptable level of TV violence.

Blog Breakdown

Graffitti.

'I hate PowerPoint.'

"I think we both know who did it...."

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

"I don't get this. I know that you're a computer hacker and must have done many bad things. But your record is completely clean!"

Resume of Claude Brisketson Composer

A man looks out a newly made window, while a smashed TV lies on the ground

"I am worthy of human kindness and care. I am worthy of human love and respect. I am worthy of huma rights and equality....or death to the f**king lot of 'em."

"Ah, summertime! Robert Potts is sitting in for Jim Jensen, who is sitting in for Harry Reasoner, who is sitting in for Walter Cronkite, who is on vacation."

Good morning and welcome to National Public Radio, you bloated capitalist swine!

'This week, the secret ingredient on Iron chef is . . . Iron. Good luck, suckas.'

Mom & Dad Recipe Corner

Enraged by Wikileaks reports of CIA domestic surveillance via home electronics, Della Dinkerbonker fights back.

"The art class look - oh, you mean flung shui?"

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

I'm not sharing top billing with you on my radio hour. I created it. I am the vision, the reason people tune in, but I'm not a tyrant. I agree you should get your name in the show's title. The Sadie Cohen Radio Hour graciously allows a pervert to make occasional comments. Speak, pervert. Bite me, Tyrant.

BBC radio one... Please Leave Your Brain at the Door

"Sorry, lady, we gotta quit for the day. Our radio broke."

Replaced by a millennial with artificial intelligence.

'I'm running into lots of trouble with my ambition to be a shock jock.'

"No, harps aren't mandatory. You could've asked for any instrument you wanted."

"Here's a dish I used to cook for my late husband. If you want to try it just follow the recipe, but ignore the part where it mentions a pinch of arsenic."

'Professional downloader of Napster files' looking for work

Bassoonist cherub.