Rating Rebel Gifts

'You had me at 'warning'.'

"In case anyone walks by and sees the bottle you ordered, we offer a sticker saying your first bottle was rated 98."

Little girl dangling from her horse track.

"I gotta be me!"

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'Let's put it this way Tommy, if we could go below F minus you would be forging new territory!'

"Did you read my review on Amazon? Four out of four people found it helpful."

'I reckon we have grounds for a libel action, don't you?.'

'This will be tough. The parents can handle Bs and Cs, but I really gotta spin this D in math.'

'What's the point of a bookmakers if there's nowhere left that sells books?'

Unabridged Dictionary

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Time for today's dose of emotional manipulation...

'In my opinion the series should have stopped after the first 3 books.'

GAP. GAP. NO GAP.

'Do you have any other references besides your mom and Santa Claus?'

"What do the know!"

It's a nice apartment but I don't want to pay my share of the national debt for rent.

"I think I'll just leave a hate tip."

Cluster Catastrophe

'D-plus? -- I demand a recount!'

"If it's any consolation, Alex, it's the first 'G' I've ever given."

"It's for a young woman in the generation that knows how to read but doesn't feel like it."

"As an artist, it's my job to capture the beauty and triumphs of everyday life."

'Let's find anothr cafe - I'm not eating in any restaurant that outranks me'

'Because we're seniors and can do whatever we want!!'

Numb and Number.

"Mom, don't believe it. It's Fake News."

'The grades aren't MY fault - I think Mrs. Pomeroy is teaching-disabled.'

"I got a no TV for a week in math, a no dessert for a month in history, and a just wait 'til your father gets home in social studies."

I'm announcing the debut of my new manual: "Randy's Movie-Watching for Alphas." Chapter One: The critics are all wrong

"You didn't show your report card to your dad last night, did you Eddie?"

'Look - decide. Are you going to launch an attack on tradition, or make a few bob?'

'Dude, we're putting the ban back together.'

"And the winner of the second clapper board electrician's assistant is..."