Rat Hunting Gifts

"Dead rats, dead birds, dead skinks, I've tried all kinds of gifts, but there's no pleasing my mistress really..."

THE PIED PIPER OF GRAMERCY PARK

'Congratulations, you graduated.'

9:00 - '' - '10:00' - '' - 'It's a 'spot the indifference' competition.' - '' -

Run, Mike, Run!

"I've got an office and I've got a window, but I wouldn't say I've got a window office."

"About time they did something about the rats!"

"Why 'Black Death'? Why not 'rodent-related'?"

"Here's a blues number I wrote after hat shopping the other day."

Celebrity anagrams: Is a salt water rat (Answer: Alastair Stewart)

The Pied Piper is mobbed by fans.

A usual day.

(Pirate about rat): 'We became buddies when they threw me in the hole.'

"Hang on a minute! This is not for us: he's bought himself a pet rat!"

"I need to relax? Oh, you'd love that, wouldn't you?"

'My old man always used to say we eventually get the face we deserve. I wish I'd listened to him!'

'Does your phone have a scanner thingy? I've got a barcode on my butt if you want my number.'

"Please continue as a lab rat, we have five mouths to feed!"

"I remember the time a cat came down here. We scared the hell out of him."

Smiling rat.

'I can't help it, I love the taste of rabbit.'

"I don't care how traditional it is. On this ship, it's women and children first!"

Fishing for rats.

'I can smell a rat, sergeant!'

The ultimate in rodent paradise.

Exercise rat race

"I hope you work out better than my last roommate. He had backaches, dizziness, and an erection that lasted four hours."

GP pay award wheel.

"Ah, its great to get away from the rat race!"

"Play Misty for me."

"Pawn to King Four."

'I don't like this. . .'

"Someday I'll leave this all behind and return to the wild."

Late businessman running with mobile phone and briefcase.

"You're getting plenty of cardio. You should try some lifting."