Ranch Hand Aspirations Gifts

'I guess there are lots of rotten jobs, Gramma...I hope I don't have to clean the taco hut forever.'

"Follow that dream!" (man boarding taxi)

'I still want to be a cowboy.'

Girl in cow onesie.

The Day Dreamer.

"What the heck? How are we supposed to roam the plains if men put these things everywhere?"

'No, that's not my shaving lotion. We've been burning cow chips in the wood stove.'

'All right. I'll count sheep, but I thought we were cattlemen.'

Cow duel.

'Another nice thing about working here, they tend to promote from within.'

'It's your fault. I told you to watch that wet spot.'

Objects in mirror bear no relation to reality.

Rainbow/Horizon

"Why do you call the new sheepdog Bra?"

'Did you want me, boss?'

Ranch Dressing

'Here's a job that sounds just like mine, oh-oh, it is mine.'

'At milking time, I just love the soft hands of the new young farm hand: A nice change from old farmer John's...'

"I've decided to replace the sod floor with tile."

'My wife, my rancher, his artificial insemination device!'

el doctor

'Mom, I think it's time I graduated to a full size horse.'

'This is the Polled Texas Longhorn - the breed of the future!'

"Speed bumps have reduced stampede injuries."

All the other land having been claimed and fenced already, Jedidiah bought his own range from the big box store.

Just another day at Helium Farm

"Who do you want to replace when you grow up?"

'No, I own the cattle. He's the vet!'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Of course there is room for advancement. You certainly can't go down from here.'

'Here comes the pimp.'

'Now, son - let's review. This is a cow! That was a bull!'