Railway Romanticist Gifts

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

'Anorak anoraks'.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

Run from the hills!

"The little engine that shoulda coulda woulda."

'Your dad wouldn't let you borrow the car tonight?'

'Though we understand your feelings towards your automobile, we aren't able to approve your application to marry it.'

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

HS2 time bomb...

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

What Holds the Subway Together?

Pound sign on rail tracks.

A Train Conductor.

'Oh bloody hell, what's their excuse this time?'

Hey, wow, Trevor's found a way to trainspot on the internet.

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

Double Bike

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'

The happy union of rail and trucking.

When moles dream...

'If we beat Napoleon, do you think when they invent passenger trains they will name a station after this lot?'

'For the benefit of the passenger who joined the train at Watford Junction, this is the non-stop London to Birmingham High-Speed service.'