Railway Reverie Gifts

I just can't stop thinking about trains!

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

'Anorak anoraks'.

Replacement Bus Spotters.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

HS2

"The little engine that shoulda coulda woulda."

Sushi Train Spotters

"Is this the Canterbury Train?"

HS2 time bomb...

L.A. Transfer

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

"Remember when they just used to write the train numbers down?"

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

A train's dining car is a diner.

The Train to Nowhere

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

"Conjoined twins were born in a bed on a passenger train. They were separated at berth."

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

What Holds the Subway Together?

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

Railway 'King' George Hudson

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Pound sign on rail tracks.

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

"I should have know he was a control freak when he seduced me in his signal box."