Railway Enthusiast Gifts

'The Overthrow of the Erie Ring'

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'

Train Timetable: "If I were you I'd get a car."

Replacement Bus Service

Pound sign on rail tracks.

'Yup, you got a training wheel 'til you're used to running on one track.'

Replacement Bus Service Spotter

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Channel rail link.

"Which way is track nine?"

Melancholy reverse of fortune. - 'Poor sweeper, ladies! Railway director once, ladies!'

'Is this what you call training?'

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

Ministry of Transport: 'Pssst! Do you want to buy a railway?'

'Madam Miggins is the best we can do for working out the full costs of HS2...'

Tragic painting of a train.

Ticket Machine

'You mean I only have to say where I'm going and you give me a ticket?'

'The train now standing on Platform 2 should really be on the track!'

'Charlie, this the tallest ladder that I've climbed, ever.'

'If we beat Napoleon, do you think when they invent passenger trains they will name a station after this lot?'

A Train of Thought

Byers 'resigns'; sacrificed to press and shareholders.

Kangaroo sits on Australian state border scratching it's head at the train tracks that are different sizes.

"I feel bad enough that I can't afford First Class, without them listing Standard as STD on my ticket."

"At least these trains are on time...!"

"It'll have to come down."

"She left me for an engine that could."

"Due to an earlier incident, this train is being held in the station."

"I wonder if I might have a-er-glass of water."

"Attention, please, Mr. Lyle Ferguson. As a result of equipment failure at the Cos Cob power station, your train will not be running at all tonight."

What Holds the Subway Together?

"I don't care if it's the Local or the Express. We're getting on board."

RMT negotiations - "I see no Shapps."

"I guess we should exchange insurance."