Railway Critics Gifts

'Gareth used to commute by train but he finds it a lot cheaper that way.'

'You may now turn over your paper and begin.' - 'Sir!' - 'Yes?' - 'What is it?' - 'I think Train 'A' and Train 'B' might be going to crash!'

"Excuse me, I think you'll find I've reserved that luggage rack space ..."

A trevor of trainspotters

Excess Baggage: Airlines are constantly working on new seating configurations.

'This Mouse is going to be huge!'

'Welcome! You are now in Shambles!'

Latest Railway Marvel.

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

'Trains traditionally run late, it rains on bank holidays and Yorkshire pudding is a main course.'

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

Sushi Train Spotters

Run from the hills!

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

An argument between a passenger and a train porter.

An old gentleman speaking with a shoeblack at a train station

Ticket machine costing an arm and a leg.

HS2 time bomb...

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

L.A. Transfer

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

S**t Creek Halt

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

Isambard Kingdom Brunel.

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

'Well, if they don't go chuff chuff anymore. . . how do they go?'

Executive Lifestyle

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'it's a special for nostalgia buffs.'

'It's so called because I expect the ticket prices to rocket!'

What Holds the Subway Together?

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

Railway 'King' George Hudson