Railroad Skeptic Gifts

Man expressing a dislike for railroads

"The little engine that could... after taking advantage of family connections, a trust fund, working two years for free as an intern, and finally getting hired as an independent contractor."

'Have you been waiting long?'

"'COST: shedloads, COMPLETION DATE: God knows.' Perhaps you'd care to flesh out some details for us."

"Honesty, I saw a train yesterday"

"We've been working all the live-long fiscal year to get these numbers up, but I'm afraid some of us are working just to pass the time away."

L.A. Transfer

'You're going to make the railroads run on time? -- Since when do we have railroads?'

HS2 time bomb...

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

'We don't keep cash on the premises.'

'You can see the excuses in the news now, it will be 'The wrong sort of rain'!'

Coupler Counselling

'Arrivals and Departures - this railroad governed by Heisenberg's uncertainty principle'

"Please mind the gap between the train timetable and reality."

'I know it's harrowing and distressing, but please Mr. Benson, tell me again about your daily train journey to work.'

"A man and his choo-choo."

Railway 'King' George Hudson

What Holds the Subway Together?

"I'm ringing you because there's nobody in the carriage to annoy..."

'It will bring economic benefits to the North and Midlands.'

Pound sign on rail tracks.

'Oh bloody hell, what's their excuse this time?'

"We utterly condemn the striking railway workers for punishing the people of Great Britain. . . that's our job. . .!"

The light rail system is reaching the downtown business core too quickly!

"I'd love to talk. I'm on a train!"

"There's a red light at the end of the tunnel."

"Someday this is gonna be a sick bike path."

'Let's build all possible variants and see which one turns out to be the cheapest to run!'

'When I started this journey I was a curate.'

"Hi! It's me...I've gone off the rails"

'If we beat Napoleon, do you think when they invent passenger trains they will name a station after this lot?'

"It'll have to come down."

HS2 Leeds Cancelled

"Where did this thing come from? It's a major trip hazard if you ask me!"