Raffles Gifts

'Suddenly Jake was confronted by the dreaded raffler'

'Alzheimers Society Raffle' "You won't forget to make the draw will you?"

"Nothing says 'Teacher Appreciation' like an administrator winning the raffle."

"Hang on Bill, don't draw yet: there seems to be a late entry..."

Giant Raffle

'Well, did you win anything in your firm's Christmas raffle luv?'

'Like to win an autographed bat,sir?'

'Remember to register for the door prize.'

'Hold on to this ticket. Immediately after armageddon, there'll be a drawing for door prizes!'

'It's so ironic: I finally win a prize at a raffle and it has to be a free pedicure!'

"Guess who won the meat tray raffle?"

"Guess what we won in the raffle at the Zoo!"

Things to do: 1. Sit 2. Stay 3. Sit 4. Stay

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

Giraffe Umbrella

'The new lad's collecting shells again boss.'

'I got tired of wet feet all the time.'

'I'd like two pizzas, one with cheese and pepperoni and the other with cheese and sausage. One more thing, do you deliver?'

"First snowman?"

'Listen Honey! Sounds like there might be a little white water close by!'

'Okay, on the count of three we fight back. One. . . Two. . .'

'I lost a fight with a mud puddle.'

Unbeknownst to most, dogs are actually greedy bastards searching for gold,

'Surely they don't expect us to carry around THAT sort of money?'

Holiday Adventures - Off the beaten path.

'Now then you two, you can't both be Australia - one of you has to be England!'

'Not without your helmet, you're not!'

'I won't bother to bath Mum, we're playing again tomorrow!'

'We think he has a future in politics.'

"You'll get your sandbox back as soon as Daddy has practiced a few bunker shots!"

The very popular sport of White Water Grafting (competitors grafting branches to trees while fighting water rapids).

"I'll wear any kind of dirt, but I prefer a rich loam with lots of humus."

'I'm not making a mess, Mom - I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

'I'm not making a mess, Mom -- I'm becoming one with the Earth!'

"I warned you about playing at the tar pits."