Radiochemist Gifts

Otto Hahn

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

The Style of Elements

Micro Psychiatry Clinic. You have a full schedule today, Doctor. The helium atom will be here to work on his fear of heights. The white blood cell with a germ phobia and amoeba with separation anxiety are coming in. The DNA molecule will be here about an identity crisis. And here, in the sports car, comes a new patient, a carbon-14 isotope. Ah, looks like he's going through a half-life crisis!

Fusion Lab. Did you tell the boss we need more hydrogen? Yes, I told him we were out of our element.

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Scientists are sexy

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

Scientist admires his structure of a dog

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

Sexual chemistry set

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

When Love In The Laboratory Turns Sour.

Periodic table for two. Chez LMN't