Radiochemist T-Shirts

"Ya know, 'DUH' can be a very hurtful word."

"This is a lovely old song that tells of a young woman who leaves her cottage, and goes off to work. She arrives at her destination, and places some solid NHHS in a flask containing 0.50 atm ofammonia, and attempts to determine the pressures of ammonia and hydrogen sulide when equilibrium is reached."

Though he created more than 300 products from peanuts, George Washington Carver was unable to change even one of them back into a peanut.

"It does have a side effect. You'll faint when I tell you how much it will cost to produce."

'I pledge allegiance to the atom, and to the periodic table on which it stands, many particles indivisible, with orbitals and electrons for all.'

"Not only pharmaceuticals - we're also finding all sorts of industrial chemicals here."

'We look for a new drug, we find a virus - we look for a new virus, we find a drug...'

"I think I may have stumbled on something, Walpole."

Carbon Dating.

Molecules You Ought to be Aware of.

The Style of Elements

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Scientists are sexy

'Sometimes, laughter is the best medicine.'

Chemist builds animals instead of molecular models

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Genetic modification creating plastic from plant cellulose.

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

''Science moves but slowly, slowly, creeping on from point to point.' Tennyson.'

'Put a tick under 'very toxic'.' (New Orleans Toxic Clean-Up Team).

"It started with a simple case of peer-review."

Thank you for not doing research that has already been done.

Sexual chemistry set

"What's a nine-letter word for biotechnology?"

"But until I do transmute lead into gold, maybe I could interest you in some lovely lead jewelry."

"That new drug causes flatulence."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

'Well, I guess we're the control group.'