Radio Plays Gifts

"You too? Wow, Kemosabe. What are the chances we'd both have the William Tell Overture stuck in our heads?"

'They all want to play the star.'

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'Alas, poor Yorick, I knew you well. But dude, you're creeping me out, so I gotta un-friend you!'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Theatre Crowd

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Hamlet

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"My God!! - Those actors must all be really old by now...!"

"Still Undecided Political Blocs"

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Pre-Television Man Caves

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

A pretention of playwrights

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

Midsummer Night's Dream

Non Thought For The Day.

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Chekov play and scorecard,

Sports Radio in Crisis

Larry King

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

James Barrie.

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

Not-so-easy listening...

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

Clive Anderson