Listening To Radio Gifts

". . . and I leave my whole estate to my one true companion, public radio."

'He's opposed to all forms of silence.'

Feelings towards radios - Hands throwing a radio out of a window

"I wasn't concentrating, I was listening to the Archers"

Wake up! Book at bedtime has finished, you can go to bed.

"Excuse me, does this AM radio also work in the afternoons."

"It's okay...he only drowns out the campaign ads."

Horrified goalie hears a goal is scored by listening to own match via a radio beside goal posts

'Is it alright eating it in front of the radio?'

'The only high-class networking I do is listening to NPR.'

'He brought along that short-wave radio just so he can listen to the commuter traffic reports from home.'

"Touch that dial, Meatball, and I'll have Paulie pop ya before we hit the tunnel."

'You need to get your heart rate up once a day -- try listening to Limbaugh.'

'You're listening to the NPR pledge drive?', 'Yes -- I'm hoping to pick up some pointers.'

Welcome to "The Ask Sadie Show," pre-Halloween edition. First caller is Zombie Eaton, from Schenectady. What's your problem?! Munch

"Ask Sadie Advice Hour," what's your problem?! The other day, my grandpa tried driving to the corner store but got lost and ended up at the beach, six states away. How do I get him to realize it's time to stop driving without hurting his feelings? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time in 1863 when Grandpappy Cohen accidentally led a caravan of zoo-bound pelicans onto a field at Gettysburg. One particularly panicky pelican escaped and distracted General Lee, and the rest is history. Um ..

'Don't bother daddy - Rush Limbaugh has him on hold.'

"Today on 'all things considered': a tree, bowling, the space-time continuum, large hats, David Duchovny, undercooked Lentils, parachutes, and the color maroon."

Feelings towards radios #7 Man catching a radio in a net.

'All you do is stare at the TV. When I was a kid we had to be content with staring at the radio.'

"If I cooked a . . . cake. . . and then hackers got mad and broke into my system and caused havoc and so I withdrew the .... cake.....from the market. How could I regain my image as a bold....cake....maker?....Your show doesn't air in North Korea, does it?"

"Caller, let me stop you right there. Your problem is you're a doormat! You need to march right back in there and tell him you don't take orders from any man, and if he wants dinner he can fix it himself!"

Take it away. Tell me you didn't. I did. I binged on radio talk shows. Hours and hours of Hannity. But you know what that does to you. He makes me feel so bad about myself. I can never compete. I can never be that mean, not matter how hard I try. Tell me I can be that mean. Please tell me it's going to be okay! I'm conflicted by this part of the conversation.

Dear listeners, Some troubling news. I have learned a special prosecutor wants to know the source for my scoop that Mitch McConnell has a crush on Dr. Pimple Popper star Dr. Sandra Lee. I will tell you this – I will never reveal my source. I'd sooner go to jail, as scary as that would be to my friends and family. Guess who's in the dating market again! Bad girl.

Want to get advice on personal issues? Email me your questions at asksadieshow@gmail.com. My advice is golden. Take it from this totally, 100 percent un-coerced, independent testimonial. Sadie Cohen gave me great counsel and it turned my whole life around! I might add that this totally independent testifier seems quite comely and beautiful.

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Government shutdowns. My girlfriend was angry I didn't send her a birthday card. So I said, I did! But the government shut down so the post office isn't delivering mail, babe. Guess what she said? The post office is funded by our stamps! It doesn't shut down, you horrible cretin! Yeah ... that is what she said. How'd you know? Next caller!

'Big audio gear is coming back!'

"Thank you for letting me listen to my oldies. Let's start with some Jimi Hendrix."

Audio Books

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

Gramophone dreams of mp3 player.

I can hear a podcast of yesterday's sea.

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"