Radio Journalist Gifts

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Pre-Television Man Caves

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Non Thought For The Day.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

Wally flunks the test: The Emergency Broadcast System.

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.