Radio Journalist T-Shirts

Psst. Me? Yeah, you. Mort Park – radio journalist. I got a scoop for you. Oh really. First, I gotta know, are you one of those reporters who will go to jail rather than reveal a secret source? Oh, the intrigue is maddening! Can you get lattes in prison?

"I caution everyone to avoid taking the first field reporter job that comes along."

News: Deaths! Deaths! Deaths!

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

"'Original' to 'Carbon-Paper': Do you copy?"

Dog FM. (Man blowing dog whistle into radio microphone).

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

Mozart's very good, but can't beat Rossini for sandbox activities.

Pre-Television Man Caves

Non Thought For The Day.

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

Clive Anderson

The Quack Quack Diaries: The Decline And Fall Of Wolfman Quack

"He had a request for me on the radio today. He wanted me to bring him a cup of tea."

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

Social Media

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

Man from 'National Viewers and Listeners Association sits at work boxes titled; 'Switch on' and 'Switch off'.

She kept Dracula at bay with an episode of the Archers.

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

Larry King

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'Howard can't come to the phone now. He's standing by for a major concert announcement.'

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"