Radio Jockey T-Shirts

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

"Still having trouble getting guests I see."

Rest in hate

"Nelson loves his Satellite Radio."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

Sci-Fi Museum. New Exhibit. H.G. Wells War of the Worlds. In 1938, Orson Welles broadcast "War of the Worlds," a radio drama about aliens from Mars invading earth. The radio drama was presented as a series of fake news reports about devastation caused by the invading aliens. Many listeners turned in to the program mid-roadcast and thought the news reports were real. Widespread panic ensued. Wow! Orson Welles caused all that panic with a radio program. Just imagine what he could have don

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

Rocking Horse

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

His family thought he'd been wasting his life, but Steve Wiebe was about to prove everyone wrong.

A day at the transgenic races

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Gamers

'I'd like to dedicate this next tune to those who have discovered love, gotten married, and wished desperately for death.'

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

Ask Sadie Advice Hour. What's your problem?! I don't want to vaccinate my kids. But my husband does. What do I do? Excellent question. It reminds me of the time Mother Cohen and Father Cohen were arguing about vaccinating us kids. Father Cohen accused her of being a pawn of the Illuminati's attempt to use diphtheria to mutate us into ape-people. Mother Cohen accused him of being anti-Darwinian. That's when Father Cohen brought up her illicit fling with Chuck Darwin, and all heck broke loose. Um

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

Non Thought For The Day.

'Hand over the last one now kid or you're getting my fist for Christmas!'

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Gentlemen Riders

'For the luxury item I'd like my ipod.'

Day two of our series: America's sleeping pill addiction. My guest, pillhead Rudy Park. I'm not a pillhead. Come clean. Admit the obvious truth. What truth? Rush Limbaugh made you do it! A political pundit never misses an opportunity. You got hooked only after O'Reilly harassed you.

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

Untold Love Stories. The Shadow and Pollyanna. It's no use, Lamont, you know what evil lurks in the hearts of men and I believe there's good in everybody.

First past the post.

Sports Radio in Crisis

You're on, caller. What's your problem?! The Oscars were so very, very boring. You decided to sit in front of your tv for four hours watching rich people give themselves awards. YOU DON'T DESERVE TO BE ENTERTAINED, LOSER! They're coming out with a new show called "Watching Celebrities Cash Their Checks." You'd probably enjoy that. Get professionally berated at asksadie@rudypark.com.

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Horse racing puns

You're on "Ask Sadie." What's your problem?! Super delegates. A candidate could win the most votes in the primaries but lose anyway of the superdelegates want someone else! Can you believe that? Oh stop yer sniveling. In my day, the parties chose candidates in smoke-filled backrooms without even pretending the people get a vote. At least this charade gets you out of the house. Gets the blood pumping. I guess.

Clive Anderson