Radio Jockey Gifts

"Did we tell you? Debbie's going to be on 'Car Talk.'"

"Still having trouble getting guests I see."

Rest in hate

"Nelson loves his Satellite Radio."

"Think of it as buying in – not selling out."

A day at the transgenic races

Rocking Horse

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"And the winner is… Dan the Man by a nose!"

'We interrupt this programme for a sex flash.'

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Gamers

The Epsom Derby - The Finishing Line

'Humans seem to be so weight-conscious: My rider weighs himself before each race...'

"Hi,Honey - I'm Homeboy."

Non Thought For The Day.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Gentlemen Riders

Presenter Auditions.

"Welcome back to the We Were Bored and Had Nothing Else To Do podcast."

First past the post.

Sports Radio in Crisis

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

Horse racing puns

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

"That damn dog's scratching again!"

Social Media

"An appointment? Let's see... She could fit you in before breakfast TV, or after lunch on Radio Two, or between Radio Four afternoon and the Drive Home SHow..."