Radio Announcer Gifts

Sports Radio in Crisis

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

"At the tone, the time will be fifty-nine minutes and fifty seconds after seven…At the tone, the time will be eight o'clock, exactly… At the tone, the time will be ten seconds after eight… At the tone…."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"I love it when you use your 'All Things Considered' voice."

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"It's Dr. Sadie. Go ahead, caller." "Yeah, how come you haven't said 'Merry Christmas' yet?" "Oh, that’s because I was hoping to provoke everyone who’s upset about the so-called 'war on Christmas' to spend all their time on hold waiting to castigate me. That way, all the normal people who don’t think Christmas is just another chance to play the victim can open their gifts in peace." "You're welcome, America." "Why haven't you played 'Jingle Bells' yet?"

Non Thought For The Day.

"Joe's cereal. NPR co-approved."

Presenter Auditions.

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

"Boss, remember when you told me to start charging Sadie 'studio fees' for operating her radio show in the cafe?" "Well, I've got good news and bad news." "What's the good?" "She's agreed not to resort to violence." "I see. And the bad news?" "On today's 'Sadie Cohen Radio Show': Evil cafe owners who may or may not poison their customers."

"The Treasury is fairly sure that the figures in the budget are correct, they might just not be in the right order!"

"The cost of HS2 was 115 billion, but that was when we started the interview. It's 130 now!"

"Did you hear Sadie's show today?"

"I've been invited to two different thanksgivings...One with family, one with friends, which one do I go to?"

'The best gig I can get you for your comeback, Lazarus, is DJ in the graveyard slot.'

Social Media

Kidnapping Lord Haw-Haw

TV SALES, 'Will the violence chip block out Glenn Beck?'

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"See! Thousands of new listeners."

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

"You're on 'Ask Sadie.' What's your problem?!"

"Coming up... more of the same mindless pop songs with repetitive lyrics and nauseating melodies!"