Tv Announcer Gifts

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

Presenter Auditions.

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

'Frankly, I think watching paint dry has been given a bad press.'

"The regular Fox news commentator was canned for being too soft on Iran. I'm Dick Cheney."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Still, he might be remembered as the 'no cloning' President."

'I'm terribly worried, Doctor - he doesn't talk back to Bill O'Reilly any more.'

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Sports Radio in Crisis

John Stride

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

Pundits

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

Shakespeare today

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

Communication

'In this...um...part of the circle...'

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

'And now, an NBS News Special Investigative Report: Why doesn't President Obama get the respect and support he deserves?'

'Occassional cards'

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

'My dad's a soccer announcer.'

'As you can see - it doesn't pay to badmouth the quarterback.'

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

London Town Crier