Announcer Gifts

"What do I do? I'm a broadcaster."

'Oooh, looks like a broken leg for Randolph - broken legs are brought to you by Altrion Orthopedics Incorporated...'

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

'Not many of you may agree with me...'

Communication

Sportscasters: "This could have been a different game..."

'And now for BEST MOVIE ERODING AMERICA'S MORAL VALUES...'

Annoucement

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe fifty basis points."

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

'We do like our announcers to wear ties.'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

1780: The Town Crier expands his repertoire.

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

"Would the owner of the dead plants and the embarrassingly juvenile trinkets please return to your cubicle - you've left your desk lamp on."

I never knew you were a sportscaster. That takes me way back. What do you mean? The year was 1943. I had a hot, torrid, steamy love affair with a young Howard Cosell. I knew he was destined to be a sportscaster. The man had a strange habit of narrating a play-by-play of all our intimate moments. It almost never pays to ask you to elaborate, Sadie. "And there's his chance! Howard goes in for a first kiss!" ... Odd man.

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"If you insist on doing all the voices, Dad. Don't you think father bear should have a deeper voice than Goldilocks?"

Presenter Auditions.

BREAKING FAKE NEWS

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Sports Radio in Crisis

This is great, Ernie, there's a pennant race and the ballpark is packed every day! The food selection here is unmatched anywhere! Today I've already had nachos, a bit of hot dog and some ice cream! Coming here always makes me queasy! Oh, the foods too much for you? No, I just get nervous in a place where the term "sacrifice fly" is used!

"I could afford a degree in broadcast journalism, but not the makeup."

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

"If PBS announcers did football games." "Let's listen carefully to the quarterback as he scans his options. It appears that the defense seems to want to deter his team from moving the ball forward..." "The fans are making so much noise. I wonder if they know how hard that makes it for the players to concentrate?"

'If they're so darn 'fair and balance,' why are all the reporters people?'

College Bowl Games - Sponsors

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'