Railway Announcer Gifts

"Kevin's job as a train announcer seriously affected his love-life..."

"That last applicant showed real promise. Did you notice the way he mumbled all through the interview?"

Quiet please! Final examination for railway announcement speakers in progress!

"I'm new here. How much do we leave for a tip?"

"Let's get ready to bumble!"

Please stand by. As stocks soar, our announcer is having a fit of the giggles.

"This just in — I no longer have a job."

Presenter Auditions.

Sports Radio in Crisis

Unintelligible speaker at Subway Announcers Dinner.

'I'm a voice over artist.'

'It's our latest line-suits for t.v announcers'

'Tusking...one...two...three. Tusking one...two...three...'

"Politicians can't make the trains run on time but they never miss the gravy train."

Communication

You wouldn't believe the screams of joy I hear when I announce a school closing...and that's just the teachers!

'My dad's a soccer announcer.'

"And now, representing rescue dogs everywhere..."

Annoucement

'Big turnover at center ice! Mmm...looks delicious.'

Trainspotters.

'It's an app that tells me when metro will get its act together.'

Lefty Grange, Color commentator.

'Not only does he have a one-track mind...it's also narrow gauge.'

"Would the owner of the dead plants and the embarrassingly juvenile trinkets please return to your cubicle - you've left your desk lamp on."

"This is Platform Two - All change...Exterminate!!!!"

'I like your style - How would you like to do some public service announcements?'

"If you don't want to know the score..."

'It's the acceptable face of the high-speed rail link.'

Commuting with Sardinetrack - 'Coo, don't they pack us in?'

Moments later, everyone would think Khrushchev was a kook.

'Coming to you live. Straight from his last job. Let's have a big round of applause!'

"Because of track work, uptown trains are going downtown, and downtown trains are going uptown."

"We apologise for the late arrival of the 1945 train...."

" 'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves Did gyre and gimble in the wabe; All mimsy were the borogroves, and the mome raths outgrabe fifty basis points."