Racing Comic Gifts

Advertising space on jockeys' bottoms

The only time cats are known to laugh.

Alternative fielding positions

Cross-country runners picking up water and spare batteries.

"Slugger goes yard!!!"

'Thanks for flying in for the meeting.'

Safari tourists surrounded by lions following a 4x4 car crash.

Jim Carrey,

Bicycle Sidecar.

John Cleese.

William, have I ever told you you're the wings beneath my wind?

'I was hoping traffic would ease up after the polar ice cap melted.'

"Heelllllooooooo, Roswell!!"

Spike Milligan

Minutes Later The Course Of Comedy Would Be Changed Forever.

"Come on guys, my jokes aren't that bad!"

Loser's Podium.

"Any kids here tonight? Oh, wait... I guess not...since I didn't see any on the menu."

Woody Allen

Alan Carr

Comedy course highlights fake nose

'Think Basics.'

'What have I told you about laughing on purpose, Mother?'

"Obviously, if I have to explain the joke, it's not funny anymore..."

Dawn French.

"See what I mean, it keeps making funny noises."

'I'm a Fringe performer.'

Theme Park 'n' Ride

'You said he wasn't a dirty comedian. This guy is filthy!'

"Due to unforeseen circumstances, there will be no delays on the subway today."

"Hey, this is a marathon, not a sprint."

'For some reason they've nailed the mike to the floor.'

Annual 10K Fun Run

"You can't go on because you're 'feeling funny'? In your case it's so rare, make the most of it!"

"Your speech made the Wall Street Journal and Comedy Central."