Raccoon Lovers Gifts

Ok, ok, just take two things.

"Any idea how long your family might be visiting?"

'You know too much!'

Don't worry, I see babies, lots of babies...

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"As I was only saying the other day..."

"I finally gave in, I got sick of hearing, 'Polly want a podcast?... Polly want a podcast!'"

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"Waiter, there's a hare in my salad!"

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

'You're going to be in heaven. Cindy makes the most amazing carrot cakes!'

"Having all the kids at home is a big adjustment."

"Overkill, dude."

Rubbish Carousel

'I object, Your Honor! Hearsay evidence!'

'You know darn well 'Aaargh' isn't a real word!'

Magic Act

"There's nothing magical about if, actually I just have a knack for this sort of thing."

'I don't want you to think I'm a maniac or something, but we haven't had bunnies for over a week now.'

'Get me everything you have on bunny rabbits.'

"I'm not trying to be cool, I'm just making sure the crocodile hunters won't see my eyes reflected in their searchlight..."

"You spend far too much time on social media, Joe!"

"Rest assured, anything you say in this office won't get repeated by me."

"I got a job!"

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

'You will never require the services of a dating agency.'

'Polly wants a Nasdaqer...Polly wants a Nasdaqer...'

A Magician pulls a rabbit out of his hat while behind him a clown pulls a carrot out of his.

'You're a smooth talker, Alphonse, but around here that's not enough.'

"Maybe I've been brainwashed, but at this point I do believe I actually want a goddamn cracker."

"Remember - you have sharp teeth and claws, but he has sarcasm."

Finance piracy

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."