Raccoon Aficionado Gifts

"The raccoons are getting bold."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Hats and Food

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Crocodile

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

"Overkill, dude."

Rubbish Carousel

"This family seems to multiply every year."

'My dentist recommended it.'

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Magician Playing Golf.

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"Did you order takeout?"

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Hon, is tonight Trash Night?'

"We have raccoons."

"Honey, we can order the new car! Here comes our best customer again!"

'isn't he something, folks? Eight dogs, twelve cats, six plumbers and two maintenance men...but talk about shy!'

'That's just great! You had to dig, didn't you?'

"I was unreliable in a previous lifetime."

"No thanks. I'm a junk food cleanse this week."

'I'm not sure what you're talking about.'