Raccoon Aficionado Gifts

"The raccoons are getting bold."

"They say this will keep us up all night like that's a bad thing."

Oh, it's you.

A raccoon is hooked up to a trashcan IV.

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Unforgettable, that's what you are... Gnat King Cole

Hats and Food

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"Here's one, Matey! 'Must Love Parrots.'"

Crocodile

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

"If Sinatra had eaten here he'd have loved it."

"Overkill, dude."

Rubbish Carousel

"This family seems to multiply every year."

'My dentist recommended it.'

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

Magician Playing Golf.

"Oh, that looks fantastic! Honey, doesn’t that look delicious?!"

"Be open about what's bothering you...."

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

'Oh Rats! I can't be creative with a box of flat crayons!'

Experimental Free Range Guinea Pigs For Sale.

"Did you order takeout?"

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'And best of all, he really enjoys it.'

'Can't understand all this fuss over cattle growth hormones.'

'Hon, is tonight Trash Night?'

"We have raccoons."

"Oh, nothing much. Just experimenting with some rabbits."

'That's just great! You had to dig, didn't you?'

Raccoon receiving IV of garbage.