Raccoon Enthusiast Gifts

'I don't care if you're going bald, it's just plain wrong.'

'Just knock over a couple of garbage cans, and bring us whatever you find.'

"We have raccoons."

'Hon, is tonight Trash Night?'

'Whoa, hey, guys! Where are you going?! I was just brushing my teeth, see!'

Rubbish Carousel

"You know, turning a hobby into a job kinda takes all the fun out of it."

"No one cares about your garbage."

"Can you believe he was the last dog at the shelter?"

"There's no intruder, officer. It was just other raccoons."

Little Known Historical Fact: After regaining consciousness at the last minute, Davey Crockett's coonskin cap went on to become the Alamo's only survivor.

'Yes, I know I look guilty. I can't help it!'

'Keep him talking!'

"But you sais if we'd appease them with a little more food, they'd go away."

Before baseball, raccooning enjoyed a brief stint as the national pastime.

"No thanks. I'm a junk food cleanse this week."

"Talk about a dream job...he's a garbage man."

"The garbage cans were hung by the chimney with care..."

"I sure hope there's something good in here. I worked up quite an appetite getting past that raccoon-proof lid."

"I dunno, I guess I just don't believe in myself anymore."

Squirrel putting nuts in a safe box.

Today's Special: Rabbit Stew

'How's my rabbit settling into his new home? He's still a bit jumpy!'

'I don't remember this canoe being this heavy, do you Tom?'

Bingo! Credit card number!! The real reason raccoons like garbage.

Yes, they are all dependants."

"I understand the allure of religion. It offers hope in a world that's often cruel and unfair. But religion's promises have been consistently proven false. Science, on the other hand, has actually delivered the things that improve human life...."

'Of course if you wanna a really BIG family I guess we could always adopt.'

"Overkill, dude."

"This family seems to multiply every year."

'Some idiot's pulled the plug out!'

The real trick here for Ramon was to somehow just make this look as if it's all part of the show...

"There you go Dad, now, instead of just thumping the ground, you can press the red button to raise the alarm..."

'They played 'Digging' the whole afternoon: They had lots of fun !'

Parenting Skills Training