Rabbits With Spreadsheets Gifts

Rabbit Meeting Shows Hopping Profits

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

Santa sits in front of computers with naughty data and nice data screens.

'Actually, accounting is an exact science.'

Overworked in the office

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

"I can always tell when Philip is working on family finances. A 'cursor' appears on both sides of the computer screen."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"Good invisible exports figures this quarter, sir."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

But under a different accounting convention ...

Re-Tooling Costs - "Could you be a little more precise than umpteen million?"

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'And that's with massaging the numbers!'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

'I think you'll find these projections somewhat exaggerated, but in a good way.'

'So, after much wailing and gnashing of teeth, the financial report is approved.'

'Good news! It looks as though the $50 million loss we expected to show is going to be a $30 million profit. You know, we should have hired a government accountant as our chief financial officer years ago.'

business

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

Sales