Knight Of The Spreadsheets Gifts

'There he goes, the bravest M&A knight that our kingdom has ever known.'

'What I don't understand is how all three of us managed to get the figures wrong!'

'Please remember that these figures could be off as much as two dollars.'

'Had I known Hell was going to be exactly like work, I probably wouldn''t have spent as much time there.'

"I need to see your budget proposal."

Overworked in the office

"Actual results indicate that the statistical analysis of the data which projections were based on may have been wrong."

"All we have to fear is fear itself and unmet quarterly projections."

Fred wonders if he should go see what's happening in accounting.

"The numbers don't lie . . . but we do."

"I think I'll have the businessman's lunch."

Three businessmen using a pulley system to change a graph

"We've done a rigorous examination of your business plan using the latest algorithms to model future profits. . . which way up would you like it?"

"How is the budget forecast looking?"

'Here, we started to be investigated...'

Never tell the boss "You can count on me" during inventory.

'Perkins, you really know to suck the joy out of a 3rd quarter report.'

'We need to change the introduction to our annual report. What's another word for bankrupt?'

'We're a non-profit organisation. We didn't plan it that way, but that's how it worked out.'

'Like it? I LOVED it! The narrative gripped me from the first sentence and didn't let go until the final, heart-stopping page! And the CHARACTERS! Without question, Harris, this is the finest year-end financial report you've ever written!'

Downward arrow on progress chart goes through the floor: 'OK, I know this doesn't look good ...'

Sales Chart Through Ceiling

"Then you just run a VLOOKUP against the Naughty column."

I've checked - it goes down to the basement.

"Will you stop saying 'ouch' every time I cut something out of your budget?"

Macho talk from down in accounting.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

The good news is that I've got all the figures...the BAD news is that I'm not sure what order to put them in!

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"Well in our defence we did get the numbers right they were just in the wrong order!"

'Hang on, I've just found another one. It must've fallen down behind the coffee machine.'

"I hate check writing, but, hey, it pays the bills."

Company profit making scheme - Jenkins, you owe us £327.95.

"I'll need some distracting hilarity on the borders of my quarterly report."

'There it is! I've isolated the origin of the firm's demise.'