Quiz Crackerjack Gifts

'At this point you're supposed to enter a plea -- you can't buy a vowel.'

I hope a starting salary of 80 and a severance of 12 is acceptable....

"Now our contestant will try to guess which of you is the very last individual of your species."

"This just in: one of us always tells lies; the other always tells the truth. Who's who? Stay tuned."

'I know the answer. I just need a moment to come to grips with it.'

"I have a huge Algebra final tomorrow. I know I'm gonna fail."

Need an elevated state of mind too!

"Sure, I pray all the time... English test, Math test, History test...."

"Here's a request from someone who'd like to hear something in tune for a change. Oh, we have a comedian out there, I see."

I love being right.

"Women like funny men, but you can't go on a date dressed like that!"

"I need a vacation. Everything is starting to smell like a bomb to me."

"I'd hate to see the flea big enough to wear those!"

'The beer's not cloudy, the glass is dirty.'

Do Not Enter and No U Turns

"Hold on - 1...2...3...?"

This next song is also about food. I probably don't even need to say that anymore, do I.

'You're insecure because your data is unsecured.'

'Number 19 across, 5 letter word, starts with 't', ends with 'h'...' 'How about truth?'

Insulting Cashpoint

'I got this medal for being a Navy Seal.'

"My trun!!"

"That's just the meds kicking in."

Looking for the vaccine

'...My mistake, that was our monthly profit estimate, not our yearly estimate.'

Dog Quiz

'Rorschach multiple-choice test'

Bloomsbury Squares

Football anagram: Dead muffin (Answer: Damien Duff.)

"D'ya wanna hear a secret? Well, keep it under your wrappings. . ."

'Get on the field! Let's go! Get your heads in the game!!'

'It's probably a military school.'

"When I was asking about how much memory you had left, it wasn't about you, Andrews!"

"Too much green beer, Bob?"

"You're right- things are funnier in threes."