Quit Coach Escapee Gifts

"I've finally kicked my vaping habit."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Time Is Money

The trauma of losing.

Go! Means NOW!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Bears

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Teamwork

"Good news...I found a doctor who says you can still play!"