Quit Coach Escapee Gifts

"I've finally kicked my vaping habit."

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"You think you can? Think again, mister. You know you can. Got that?"

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

Time Is Money

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

Go! Means NOW!

The trauma of losing.

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Back to school.

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

'At least now the injury worries are over, we can concentrate on slagging off the team.'

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

Bears

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."

Teamwork