Quit Coach Gifts

'When you put on a new patch you're meant to take the old one off!'

'Ten patches! That is the worse smoking habit I ever seen!'

No smoking initiative.

'This is his first year without a cigarette.'

"Good game."

'Reading, writing and arithmetic are important, son. Someday you might sign autographs for money.'

"Just be yourself."

I like the Jets...I guess

"Those aren't coconuts, they're tennis balls." "Sweet mother of Novak Djokovic!" The island of lost tennis balls.

Reach for the Star.

"Just another 50 decibels on your grunt and we can start to think about letting you hit a few balls!"

'I love your cardiovascular system!'

"Still, diving for it would look good on my college application.

"There will be a winning team and a losing team. Are you OK with that?"

'Sure beats your cupping your ear!'

'What distance! Pity it wasn't the hammer!'

'These goalscoring celebrations are getting out of hand.'

"I hate performance review season."

"Good game, good game, nice game, namaste, good game, nice game ..."

The trauma of losing.

Go! Means NOW!

'Thou shalt not steal...except for bases.'

Time Is Money

"A journey of a thousand miles begins with a MAP, actually."

"Some advice please...How do I squeeze 9 days work into 5 and still see my family?"

Bringing Your Child To The Bicycle Race

'Yes, Jenny, I know I'm always reminding the team to be good sports, but you really don't have to thank the ref after every call.'

'Pass it to Dewey! He's got himself into some kind of rhythm!!'

"I'm not using my jumper as a goalpost, sir, I'm using it as a jumper."

A married couple share the same pole vault.

Bears

"And the letterbox version, how does that make you feel."

'Why couldn't you throw like that in the game?'

A Hard Look At Hard Looks

"I keep telling myself I've got to slow down."