Quirky Vegetable Growers Gifts

'I think Ms. Ives wins hands down for the oddest shaped vegetable.'

"It's how he would have wanted to go."

Allotment

"Looks like we grafted a few too many human genes into the kohlrabi."

'You wouldn't happen to be sitting on my entry to the straightest runner bean competition?'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

"I wanted to plant my own food, but I couldn't find bacon seeds!"

"Son, you can't get blood from a turnip!"

"Your momma lied to you, boy."

'You may not feel any healthier right away, but you'll definitely feel more smug.'

Excellent crop! What's your secret?

'Good morning pumpkin.' 'Good morning treasure.' A pile of treasure saying 'good morning' to a pumpkin

'You're still keen on organic gardening then!'

Onion Tears

Typical...the weather is lousy all week...then on the weekend it's too sunny to work.

'That GMO gene salesman was darn right!'

Rap-scallions

A butcher announcing he will kill his own meat

"What's orange and sounds like a parrot? A carrot!"

"My God!!..Just how long have we had this Broccoli hiding in the back of the fridge?"

Avocado Timeline

"Are you mad with us, Mrs. Bimmelman?"

Old MacDonald had a genetically modified farm.

"The vegetables have gone bad!"

"Mother will never be able to rest on her laurels. If they're green, she'll cook them."

'Apart from Charlie here, I don't have any problems with slugs'

"Looks like someone forget her lunch today."

'I grow all our tomatoes. I grow all our spinach. All you do is complain about the cost of my twice weekly manicures.'

"Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious day when you're ripe and not yet mealy?"

'They send you into the ketchup department? HA! I'M going into pizza!'

'Carrot salad, carrot casserole, carrot juice, carrot cake - I want steak!'

'Eat your lettuce. It'll put colour back in your cheeks.'

'I say it's spinach and the heck with it!'