Quirky Storytelling Enthusiast T-Shirts

"No, John. You know I'll only end up hurting you."

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

The Awful Lawfuls Chapter 10

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

"POOPIN'! It's the Butt Signal!"

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

The Family Joules: Part 5

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

How I met your mother

Fishing.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Really, Larry? Of all the things that could have bitten you, you get a wereduck?"

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

Happy Birthday to you... Thanks guys!

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Hog Futures

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

'A book very interesting'

Centaur falls in love.

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"