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'Experience?'

"Did you sleep awkwardly again?"

"Sorry lad, ye can't be having' me pot o' toilet paper."

'We're doing a fly on the wall documentary.'

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

Graffiti artists signs his memoirs in bookshop.

'This court finds you guilty Mr. Jones. As your punishment, the bailiff here will slug you one.'

"Oh, it's alright. You couldn't know that I'm honey-intolerant."

How I met your mother

"Well, sir, it looks like things are getting pretty serious for Peter and Pauline."

Fishing.

Meet the author Billy Bovine.

"This little piggy went to market, this little piggy drove the getaway car..."

"I've finally finished my lockdown novel."

'There's a little bit of my late husband in every glass - I used his ashes as a fining agent.'

Pets in Attorney's office - 'The iguana gets everything.'

"Your article on the safe storage of combustibles is quite good, but I think you should leave out the part about the wicked witch setting you on fire."

"Come with us to see the wizard. He can find you a brain!"

Chicken Funeral Planning.

Nobody's reding our company blog,we need you to have sex with Mrs Miggins so that we can spice it up!

"Convicts selling novels from prison? At least that could never happen here, eh Jones?"

'A book very interesting'

'Miss Wilson, get on the web and find me everything on bottles!'

Centaur falls in love.

'I've written a poem describing my feelings on discovering the body, Inspector...'

Hog Futures

"It's just thrived since I let it have Harry!"

'Remember the book about the scary monsters, Honey? Well, your father's relatives can't hurt you, either.'

"I'm so glad you suggested we insert his heart on Valentine's Day!"

'He said, but for you he wouldn't have stuck your credit card to the roof of his mouth in the first place...'

'We fed your application in, and the computer started leaking slime.'

"Prepare yourself for a shock. The birth records reveal you have a twin brother."

'Excuse me officer. I'd like to report a U.F.O. sighting!'