Quirky Song Lover Gifts

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"I love you, you big fool."

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

Dummies for Dummies.

"Great tights!"

A saxophone player reads music that says, 'Dade, dade, dade, dade, dade, deeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee' with the eeeeeeees falling off the music stand onto the floor.

"Interested in some romantic punk rock during your dinner?"

"I'm gona level with you, Judith, I've spent some time in the pen."

"Sometimes Ben does very dumb things. I love that in him."

CW 'Text' Yomp Sidekicks: Attorneys-at-law,

Half-A**ed Publishing Presents...

'Oh Gloria, I love you with all my heart, part of my liver and most of my lower intestine.'

Annoying xylophone solicitors.

'That's right...his appendix...and it's pure dynamite! Don't you see? It'll be the ultimate insider celebrity memoir!'

'As a hairdresser, I must say you take it a bit far.'

'Our financial troubles are over, Edna. The fellas and I have formed a boy band.'

Rare Books / Exceedingly Rare Books / Never Published Books

'I'm thinking the bee beard is the main reson that you're still single'

Long necked giraffe playing long saxophone

'No, it's not one of those fake arrows. I had my head pierced.'

'That's one hell of a mating call you've got there, Bob!'

Miss Lonelyhearts Advice to the Lovelorn

"You must be a computer geek, because I've never had anyone ask me to accept their 'Terms of Use' before a date."

Ass-less Chaps

"They listen to weird music, dress funny and you don't dare go into the bathroom after they've been in there!"

"The good news is he costs a quarter of what a string quarted would; the bad news is that, of course, he's suffocating."

The world of interpersonal relationships was dealt a blow today when John Gray, author of Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Venus, finally came out of the closet. In other news...

'Hey, thanks for comin' out tonight. All these songs are from our new album, which was inspired by a recent trip to the grocery store...'

"No, it's not a religion or a cult. It's a fashion statement."

For years Melenie stayed home waiting for the stirrup cords revival.

Must be one of those underground bands.