Quirky Sock Seeker Pillows

Where missing laundry socks go!

"The dryer giveth and the dryer taketh away."

"The following programme contains scenes of a very noisy vacuum cleaner."

God putting the finishing touches to the Pug.

All bets are off as Round One begins in the "Dollars versus Donuts" World Championship title fight.

Lumbar support animal

E-vac-u-ate! E-vac-u-ate! . . . I've just farted. . ."

'If he could trace the matching sock I've another 25 or 30 to account for.'

Ball as water-melon.

A watch face with Stonehenge

'It's another corporate lawyer...do we want to buy a soul?'

Customer entering bank that is touting number of toasters given away

Where Deviled Eggs come from

"Waiter, this is the worst meal I've ever tasted. And believe me, I've eaten some crap!"

Santa's Helpers

"Roadkill cookies"

"Pass that."

International House of Excrement

Regifts of the Magi

'Hey! You're not for real, are you man?'

'...You're just not built to take selfies.'

Fish mobsters.

Notorious gangsters, Bunny and Clyde.

Perks

'If you're out and about today don't forget the pith helmet.'

'Buy two pounds and I'll throw in the sword.'

"What seems to be the problem?"

"That's $20 for you if you pluck the tail feathers off my rival over there..."

"I'm glad I don't have to put gas in it. the downside is that it takes a lot of time to put 3,000 AA batteries in it."

"...And our 'Holiday Scented' candle smells just like credit cards."

Those missing socks...where do they go?

"I'm in a bad mood today: sit down!"

Undertaker with 'light', 'done', and 'RIP' settings on his toaster.

"If they don’t have Pringles, get low-sodium Doritos."

A man's brain is in a glass on his bed stand next to his dentures.