Quirky Situation Enthusiast Pillows

'You're not what we hand in mind when we advertised for a new organist.'

Football Crazy strip six

Bad Interview Technique

"If you think the first half of this psychological test is intrusive, wait until you're grilled by me mother."

"We have a favor to ask."

"Rob is a functioning train wreck."

"I always wondered who got my transplant."

Time management office worker

"Can't we just go after sailfish...?"

"It's marzipan pigs."

'What's wrong with you?'

Top Ten Elevator Hits of All Time

"Ah guys, before you push any buttons can I just check my calculator?"

Fortunately, his training had prepared him to deal with all types of customers.

"This one is really unusual. We have to remove a horseshoe from a guy's naval."

"I can't help you with your chronic whistling. You don't need a psychiatrist, you need a musicologist!"

"So, have you two been doing anything reproductive?"

'Remember, Harvey, the salesman said to not stay in the hot tub too long.'

"Look, I know Estella has a boyfriend. I would never try to break them up. But it's not illegal to text friends...and we're still friends..."

'I hope I'm not intruding...'

Freak Accident Specialist

'It helps to be a little crazy to work here, but you're overqualified.'

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: Alumnae News

"Precisely what do you find so provocative about me, Mr Golcz?"

'Check this out Henry, the stripper has arrived.'

''Change your underwear.' Hmm, my mother must be in town for a visit.'

'Oh no! I think I left my wallet in the examination room.'

Circus News

"Did I just butt-dial my booty call?"

"The inspector's not getting older. He's getting odder."

Square peg in a round hole: 'I say if it feels right, do it.'

Duncan made a real faux pas when he heard that his blind date was expecting a baby.

'Better than looking at four walls is here.'

"I . . . uh. . . had a real pleasant evening, Wendy!"

'Geesh! Didn't your mom ever tell you to put on clean underwear in case you get in an accident?!'