Quirky Singles Gifts

'He should be sensitive, but not overly sensitive ��' except to my needs.'

"We're bringing the arts and sciences together here by giving crayons to mice."

Heart surgeon tastooing patients heart with "Love".

'Oh, Arthur...You sweet, blind, mad, dear, silly fool....Don't you see it could never last?'

Anna Calvi

'RUN FOR COVER!!!!! It's another one of those 'Baby Showers'!!!

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

Great British Eccentrics.

Best before 65 million BC.

Hats and Food

Ralph spent his Sundays in the park gathering nuts.

Mystery Solved - Boxers or Briefs, 'Thanks but you could have just told me.'

"Of course they're permanent. I'm an artist."

We're making progress building a staff for the palace. The king's lawyer and accountant has sealed lips, of course. Putting a big heart in the charity foundation chief, and building the gardener with a green thumb were excellent choices, Ernie. But the entertainers sill need some fixes. The jester doesn't have a funny bone. I'm nobody's fool. And you have the minstrel a tin ear! Oops.

Man finishing painting through flap in door.

Texturing the Walls

"Sorry - He's changed His mind again. Stripes on the zebra, spots on the giraffe, no stars on the lion and make the elephant bigger and the amoebae smaller."

Fuzz - Fuzzy writes a song with a positive message.

"Hell, Mom! How's it look?!" "Holy mackerel."

"I'll bet you can't name three of their songs."

"Albert is the first whistler to use hearing aid feedback as an intro to one of his tunes."

"Somehow, some way, we have to guide these people back to reality!"

'Mind if I join you?'

Celebrity Phrenologist.

Weight lifter using his foot to take a photograph.

Children's Book Publisher. It should be good for lots or repeat sales

"The board is going to have to talk to 5-G again."

Real Estate Personals

"This next song is about narrow-minded record executives and their reluctance to take a chance on anything a bit different."

"Cliff's really devoted to his art. He'll wait hours for someone to take a shot to the groin."

"My two-year-old actually did paint that."

"And now, Bach's Brandenburg Concerto, Number One, first movement."

"This next song is also about air-conditioning."

"It's not art, really - just something I pulled out of my butt."

"I didn't have a carrot so I used a fish stick for his nose."